haha i heard that

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

hahha nice

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?"

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

A dad and his son are walking past the police station and the dad gets stopped and searched, when they finally walk off the dad says 'wanker' son says "dad whats a wanker" dad replies " oh its another name for police officer" they get back home and the dad trips over the doormat and shouts "shit" son says " dad what does shit mean" dad replys " its another name for doormat" the son walks into the kitchen and his mum is plucking a turkey "cunt" she shouts. Son asks " mum whats a cunt" mum replys " oh its another name for turkey" so he walks off and goes upstairs where his dad is having a shave "bollocks" he shouts. son asks "dad whats bollox mean" dad replys " its another name for shaving" so he walks downstairs and theres a knock at the door, its a police man he opens the door and says " hi wanker, come in wipe your feet on the shit, my mum is in the kitchen plucking her cunt and my dads upstairs shaving his bollox"

Last edited by HolzCakes 15 years ago

niice

a woman comes home and tells her husband she leaving him when asked why she replied "my friend told me i could make $50 a blow job on the street." then husband then starts packing his belonging, when asked what hes doin he replies "im going with you, i wanna see how you live on $50 a year."

Bloodnbone...

A carrot an onion and a penis is arguing about whos life is the worst "I hate my life I get sliced and put in a pot" said the carrot "thats nothing I get sliced and diced and put in a pot" replys the onion ", the penis begins to sob and says " how do you think I feel I get a plastic bag put over my head and thrown around in a wrinkley cave until a throw up !!!

Whats the Difference between Barrack Obama and his dog Bo?

Bo has papers!