The Fear of Long Words is called Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Who the fuck invents these name??

l wonder what's the punishment for attempted suicide

a nap

Removal of all limbs I'd assume

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Whoever thought of that one is sick in the head, excuse me sir... I'm afraid you have hippopotomonstrosesquippedalio [takes a deep breath] phobia -- he would be too scared to hear the end of his diagnosis.

A child walks thru the subway with his mother and starts to read the graffiti on the walls. Mom what does bitch mean he asks, it means priest his mother says. What does fuck you mean he asks, it means hello she replies. What does fucking mean he asks, it means getting dressed she replies. What does shit mean he asks, it means food she replies. A few days pass and Sunday comes along, the local priest comes by for supper. The little boy answers the door. Fuck you bitch, mom and dad are upstairs fucking and we're having shit for dinner.

there is no punishment for an attempt............so i can try all i want but if i succeed i go to jail