( I got this from my - Bull Dyke housemate )

Top 13 Reasons Why Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Characters Are Gay

1.Fonzie: has an "office" in the men's room and always tells guys to "sit on it."

2.If you're drunk enough, "Homer Simpson" sounds kinda like "homosexual."

3.Popeye: Vegetarian. Bodybuilder. Dresses like one of the Village People. "Girlfriend" has no visible breasts. You connect the dots, Chester.

4.Batman & Robin: They caress a bust, which reveals a pole that they wrap themselves around and slide down which strips them of their clothes and puts them in rubber suits and... Okay, maybe Falwell's got something here.

5.Alex Trebek: Lives with his mom and knows *way* too much about Broadway Musicals and potpourri.

6."Shhhh, be vewy vewy wightous! I'm hunting a naked opewa-wuving wabbit!"

7.Will from "Will & Grace": Not because the character is openly gay, but because if he were straight, he'd go by "Bill" and smoke cigars.

8.That Peter Jennings character on "ABC World News Tonight" is thin, neat and obsessed with the sex life of a guy named Bill.

9.Fred Flintstone & Barney Rubble: Fur house dresses? C'mon!

10.Check the reruns closely: Woody lives up to his name whenever Norm walks into the bar.

11.The letters in "The Teletubbies" can be rearranged to read, "He bites eel butt."

12."Dr. Quinn, Lesbian Woman"

13.and Number 1 Reason Jerry Falwell Thinks Your Favorite TV Character is Gay...

14.David Hasselhoff: 147 episodes of "Baywatch" with nary an erection.

Daughter: Mom me and my boyfriend are going upstairs

Mom: Ok dont do anything stupid

*moments later mother hears from up stairs BABY BABY BABY OHH! runs upstairs slams open the door*

Mom: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Daughter: Mom get out were having sex and im gonna cum

Mom: Thank God! I thought you were listening to Justin Beiber have fun!

The bride tells her husband

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know

anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the

prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the

prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but

the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him

a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently

born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,

OKAY!

Hunt chris brown tonight