chingy: 7 points

terry913: 4 points

babycakes: 3 points

marty420: 2 points

jigsaw: 2 points

hanako: ???

snakeman:0

pogmaithoin: 1 point

killer2310: 5 points

johnnybozo: 1 point

crackjaw11: write your favorites down

skidmore: 3 points

chi_dogg: 3 points

sohail000: 9 points

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"

not funny

one day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past..the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the day was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. the moral or the story is..the bigger the sausage.the wetter the pussy!

chingy: 7 points

terry913: 4 points

babycakes: 3 points

marty420: 2 points

jigsaw: 2 points

hanako: ???

snakeman:0

pogmaithoin: 1 point

killer2310: 5 points

johnnybozo: 1 point

crackjaw11: write your favorites down

skidmore: 3 points

chi_dogg: 3 points

sohail000: 11 points

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue

not funny

what has 100 legs and three teeth

a methadone queue

There were three boys. one named zip, one named willy and one named pee. they ran away from school but they were chased by the headteacher so zip hid on top of a wardrobe, willy hid inside it and pee stood next to it. soon enough, the headteacher saw the cupboard and at that moment it was break time so all the kids were coming out of class. the headteacher was unaware of this and shouted ZIP DOWN! WILLY OUT! PEE IN THE CORNER!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"