I figured, I just wanted a reason to post a picture of raisins.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Originally posted by KristopherStarl

Originally posted by pierre

lol im typing too fast lol

I figured, I just wanted a reason to post a picture of raisins.

well done ,you used my mistake and had me cracking up , funny shit lol

ugg tuff but a great joke that was realy good artix,, you got good 1nce

Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"He says: "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry".She says: "What are you thinking now?""Looks like I did a pretty good job!"

Jesus came across an adulteress crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother! Sometimes you really tick me off!"

Why does Dolly Parton have such tiny feet?Nothing grows in the shade.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?A carrot!

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo.""A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?""I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly."What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar bill tattooed on his privates?""Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."