A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then closed and went back into the house.A little later she came out of her house again and went to the mail box. She opened and shut it again. Angrily, she went back to the house.As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it harder than ever.Puzzled by her actions the man asked her: "Is something wrong?"To which she replied: "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying: 'You've got mail!'"

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Why did the chicken go to the séance?To get to the other side!

Haaaaaaahahahaha that one was good

(Artix)

Last edited by DemOlition 15 years ago

Originally posted by artix

Originally posted by pierre

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"

cause blonds are supposed to be stupid right? imao!!!

what you call a blond with pigtails? blowjob with handels

A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra.That's correct. While unfastening a woman's stabilizing devise, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other similar injuries.Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while trying to undo a woman's bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the checkout line, she turned and hit me with a can of peas.

wait i got a good one why do blondes take the pill so they know which day of the week it is