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15 years ago  #51
pierre
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ok im dry

Last edited by pierre 15 years ago

15 years ago  #52
DeneLass
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Originally posted by susamman123 wait i got a good one why do blondes take the pill so they know which day of the week it is

why does a blond have cored less phones in every room

15 years ago  #53
Leah80
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Originally posted by artix A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

One long joke but well worth it

Hilarious

15 years ago  #54
pierre
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why ?? @ danelass

Last edited by pierre 15 years ago

15 years ago  #55
Gothy
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Originally posted by Leah80
Originally posted by artix A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

One long joke but well worth it

Hilarious

that one was my favorite of all of them im still laughing haha

15 years ago  #56
pierre
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Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.

15 years ago  #57
pierre
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After dating a young lady for some time a young man decides it is time to marry her. He proceeds with all the necessary plans and finally the day comes. On the day of the wedding the young man has yet to pay the pastor for performing the ceremony. However the pastor has a plan. The service proceeds as planned the vows are exchanged etc. Now it is time for the groom to kiss his bride. The pastor sees this as the perfect opportunity to ask to be paid. He pulls the young man aside and asks him. Can you please pay me?Not wanting to create a seen the young man asked. How much do I owe you?The pastor thinks quickly and replies, pay me according to your wife's beauty.The young man discretely pulled out five dollars and gave it to the pastor. Although annoyed by this, the pastor continues the ceremony and says; you may now kiss the bride. At this point the veil is lifted from the brides face to allow the groom to kiss her. As the groom is about to kiss his new bride the pastor interrupts and promptly hand the groom four dollars and 50 cents

Last edited by pierre 15 years ago

15 years ago  #58
pierre
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customer comes into a computer store.“I’m looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.”After a while the clerk replied, “have you tried Windows 2000?”

15 years ago  #59
pierre
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An airline captain was helping a new Antartian flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

15 years ago  #60
pierre
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Three dreams of a man:To be as handsome as his mother thinks.To be as rich as his child believes.To have as many women as his wife suspects...

 

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